Fire and Ice
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: It's Edward and Bella's wedding but Edward's mind's on someone else...


**I couldn't think of a better title xD**

**Head and Heart**

I tried to focus my attention on Bella, my beautiful fiancé. The beautiful woman who adored me and would do anything for me. The woman who idolised me, who loved me with every fibre of her being. She was practically dependant on our love, the love was literally visible from a simply glance at her radiant smile. Yes, she was beautiful, yes, she loved me. I loved her as well of course, how could I not? She was everything any old-fashioned guy such as myself could want. I would easily, happily, comfortably live the rest of my life with someone like her, with her.

And yet, here she was walking down the aisle towards me, her face covered by the lacy veil, pure, innocent, mine, and my mind was fighting thoughts of someone else. The ultimate betrayal. My wedding day, our wedding day, and I was thinking about another. Another who I knew was thinking about me also, their thoughts were so clear in my mind, they were doing it in purpose trying to make me hear, trying to make sure I was listening. What they didn't know – and I was thankful no one could read _my _mind – was that I wasn't making much of an effort to stop their thoughts entering my mind.

They hadn't accepted my decision to marry Bella. They thought it was the wrong decision. In the back of my mind I knew they were right as well. I meant what I said, I do love Bella, I truly do, and we would be comfortable but is _comfortable _really ideal for a lifetime as long as mine is going to be? I had decided it was for the best, Bella would love me and I would love her, there would be do raging fights, nothing too intense. But I wasn't sure she could make me feel alive. Even now as her beautiful self was walking slowly towards me on Charlie's arm, I didn't think she could make me feel alive. And wasn't that I needed? In my permanent un-dead state, all I really needed was to feel alive.

They made me feel alive. They rough, gentle voice was in my mind. They're thoughts overwhelming me. It was all I could do not to change my polite, happy smile into an amused smirk. I forced myself to remain with the same expression but it proved to be ever more difficult. They had moved past '_Imagine the things I could do to you if you didn't marry her' _and proceeded to explain these things.

"_I'd kiss you, really properly kiss you." _As they speak, they are imagining it in great detail. They lip gently pecking at mine before they force my lips open and I respond instantly, our tongues meet and lap over each other, we explore each other's mouths. "_I'd kiss you until I had to stop to breathe and I met you'd be disappointed. You wouldn't want me to stop. You'd want me to continue. My gorgeous, warm lips complementing your icy cold ones. Don't deny it Edward, don't even try, we both know you think I'm gorgeous._"

I'm pretty sure if I had been able to I would've been blushing furiously at this, and yet I was somewhat amused by it. I was intrigued by it, excited. A part of me wanted to run out right now, find them where they were hiding and pull them close and force them into that kiss. I didn't though. I didn't move. I blinked a couple of times, trying to get my focus back on Bella. She was close now. But they continued, they didn't plan on stopping with just a kiss.

"_And once I had taken a deep breath, I'd go back to kissing you, while my hands explored your body. Hot hitting cold. They say opposites attract don't they?_" they were laughing slightly at this thought. It hit the nail on the head, it didn't get any truer than that. But I knew something else. I knew they were laughing because they were hiding the fact that I'd rejected them. They weren't the type of person to get hung over, to sit at home depressed and cry, and I was glad, I didn't want that for them. "_My hands would slip under your top, and slide it up, slowly, menacingly, we'd break the kiss just for a moment to pull the top over your head and dump it on the floor. And the sun would hit your chest making it sparkle and shine like something precious, something mine_" I could tell they were smiling, "_Oh my god, Edward, you've turned me into a poet. Have I ever mentioned I hate you so very much?_"

I couldn't help but laugh them. It was a quick, small sound, but it escaped before I had the chance to stop it. I noticed the confused look on Bella's face, Bella who was not right beside me, and just grinned, hoping she'd think I was just laughing at the pure amazement of the fact that I was marrying her. She didn't need to know.

"_And I'd push you down onto the bed after you disposed of my top,_" they continued, "_My arms around you, kissing you so deeply, so passionately, making you feel so much. And you'd kiss me back and our arms would get to know each other's body, every dent and curve, every freckle, every mark, everything. And eventually we'd move to each other's pants…_"

They trailed off and I couldn't deny I was disappointed. The vicar was talking but I wasn't hearing his words. I wasn't hearing or seeing anything, my entire being was focused on what was going on in my head. I was silently willing them to continue, I wanted to hear more, _needed _to hear more.

"_But I guess you'll never know what would happen next now will you, Edward?_" They're voice was devastatingly serious as they continued a moment later. "_You'll never know what it could've felt like, what we could've been. You made your decision, you made the wrong one. You love her, maybe, but I know she can't make you feel like I can. Your choice, remember that. Goodbye Edward_"

"Edward?" the vicar said, slightly louder than he had been speaking before and I snapped back to the world outside of my head. "Do you?"

Bella was watching me a concerned expression on her face. I looked at Bella, looked at the vicar, turned at looked at the two families and our friends who were waiting in anticipation for my response. I turned back and looked directly at the vicar, "I'm sorry, I can't do this," I said and ran out. Out the building, around the side of it, and stopped when I saw them. Saw him.

"I choose you…Jacob"


End file.
